My Personal Icons.

I am a firm believer that our personalities are made up of different parts and that is what makes us all unique, and in my case, adorable.

ICON

I often get asked, “Danger, how are you so amazing and at the same time well balanced and down to Earth?” The answer is never simple but it is always the same, “just am”. But that isn’t the truth. I have always had some spectacular role models and while they are still evolving, I think the diagram above shows you a bit more about me and where I get my influences and how I strive to be.

STYLE– Gwen Stefani: We gotta start at the top, Gwen has been my favorite Orange County Girl since I was 12. That is 17 years of looking up to someone I truly want to be like. She is married to a hot guy (I am currently dating one, check). She has 2 adorable kids (well, I have the potential for that, half check). And she always looks polished (double check!) I often ask myself WWGD? before I walk out the door.

CLASS– Rachel McAdams: I am not going to lie, she is just really pretty and I have a girl-crush on her. I love the way she always looks classic, I am constantly working on that.

SASS- Shirley Manson: Her stage presence is larger than life and I always get the vibe that she doesn’t take sh*t from anyone and I love her for it. “Do you have an opinion, a mind of your own? I’ve run out of patience, I couldn’t care less.” She’s amazing.

WIT- Mindy Kaling: She is hilarious, smart, and isn’t afraid to look silly on TV. I really like her sense of humor and her book was a great read. She’s just simply likeable.

DOPPLE-NESSAlexis Bledel: I don’t know, I’ve been told countless times that I resemble this girl so I might as well embrace it. Afterall, she is 31 and looks about 17 and I am 29 and look about 16. I think we might be kindred spirits here.

LIFE- Amy Poehler: She just rocks at life. I love her show, she makes me laugh every week. She is so smart, so so smart and I love that way she isn’t afraid to make a fool of herself for a good joke. She had this great quote “No one looks stupid if they are having fun.” It’s kinda true, right?

Tales of a Recovering Teeny Bop Addict.

The other day I was thinking about Justin Beiber. I just don’t get it- what is the appeal? He looks like a 12 year old girl and yet teenaged girls get into such a frenzy over him. And then I started thinking about when I was 13 and the teen sensations who I adored and I couldn’t help but understand what all the fuss was about. I too was that crazy kid in love with the music and the band, maybe I still am…maybe I’m in recovery.

Leo(You are lying if you said you didn’t have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. Man or woman, you loved him. And if you were like me and my friend Molly, you chatted him on AIM when you were 15. I swear, it was really him)

Adrian(I am about to get really hipster on you right now but when I was 16, my friend Ashley and I saw this movie called “Drive Me Crazy” and I DISCOVERED this cutie as I thought to myself “who dat?” Turns out his name was Adrian Grehjdsomething and he was super hot! Apparently he became some big actor on this show called Entourage, never heard of it but I found him first, credit goes to me. Although I had nothing to do with the casting of “Drive Me Crazy” but I was one of the 12 people who saw it that summer)

Mark(My high school locker was COVERED with Mark McGrath pictures. I actually had this very magazine tear out in it. My locker was next to Edwin’s and I am pretty sure he hated every year when I would add more photos of him. I dunno, I loved him and his goatee. He was a terrible dancer but he sure looked good in my locker. Was that creepy? Like I trapped him in some sort of dark room where no one could hear his picture screaming? Hard to say…)

(The creme de la creme, Taylor Hanson was my absolute favorite, kind of still is, right Vicki?  He could sing and those baby blues, ugh, so cute. I know he looked like a girl but deep down under that rat tail and long-sleeved polos, I knew he wasn’t . Anyway, he ended up getting married when we were 19- I have yet to recover. And I’m sorry that he ended up being GORGEOUS, looks like I was on to something so suck it.)

The whole time that I was creating this post, Brittany swore up and down that she never was into Bop or Tiger Beat magazine but her mother informed me otherwise. Apparently there was a little obsession we former tweens called “JTT”.

JTT

BUSTED!

I Will Remember You. An Obituary.

It was the best of times, now it’s the worst of times. When I was a kid my summers meant endless bicycle riding in the cul-de-sac with a bright pink Hostess Sno Ball in my hand. Just recently Hostess announced the end of an era and my childhood with the death of my beloved Sno Ball.

Sno-BallWhat can I say? You were there for me, providing me with nothing but love, sugar, and an amazing amount of nutrition. You never raised your voice or doubted me. And now you are gone. I will never feel your squishy exterior in my boney fingers or taste your marshmallow insides again. I am not sure if the world will be the same without you. How could it?

Hostess Sno Ball(The children weren’t your only admirers, the art community has been affected by your loss too)

French Bulldog with a Hostess Sno Ball(Oh, the fun we had. I will always remember the good times. I will quickly forget the times when I couldn’t fit into that tight tank top because of you. But I will never forget the puppies, what will become of the puppies?!)

Crying baby

(No one will be able to compare to you. There was only one you.)

Kim Kardashian(Sit down, Kim! SIT DOWN! You are such a show stealer! This is Sno Ball’s moment, okay?! We are all trying to get through this TOGETHER!)

RIP Sno Ball(May your light shine on forever)

You are gone but not forgotten. I will avenge your death and ensure that those who took you from us will experience harsh justice. I will force feed them Home Run Pies and not the real kind, the cheap rip off brands you get at the grocery store.

Fake It ‘Til You Make It

It’s that time of year when people invite themselves over and intrude upon your private space because it is the holidays and they want to spend time with you. Sigh. Alright, we’ll play nice and try to accommodate the best we can. We gathered some tips on how to spruce up your apartment in a pinch and give the false impression that you live in a civilized manner all year round.

1. First Impressions.

Gerard Butler

(Make your boyfriend, friend, or roommate greet your guest at the door dressed as your personal butler. This is important in fooling your guest into thinking you are living a highly refined life. Actually one better, get Gerard Butler to dress as a butler and answer the door for you, whatever you do after that pretty much won’t matter.)

2. Tidy Up.

(Don’t have time for a deep clean? Don’t worry, there is an easy solution. Shove your scattered clothes, shoes, and spare tutu into your closet as quickly as you can. Then take your shoe rack and move it in front of your closet door in case your guest decides to get snoopy)

3. Mood Lighting.

(Class up the joint by placing a candle in a tiny little mason jar. But don’t stop there, tie some twine around the top so that you disguise the fact that you just stuck a candle in a jar)

4. Refreshments

(Someone told me that they once went to a super fancy dance club and there was champagne in the bathroom! Well, I drank all of mine the other night so I placed some extra beer and wine I had around the toilet instead which should do the trick! Whatever you do, make sure you keep a wine and bottle opener within reach so that your guest can pop their bottles easily)

Well, there you have it, 4 easy and totally doable steps that transform your apartment into a chic lounge that could trick any of your imposing friends into thinking you are classy.

Fool Proof Hangover Kit.

Whether you are a man or a woman, we all fall victim to the occasional hangover. Just last Friday, we had a beer each and woke up with the worst headache. Literally, one beer will do it to it to us sometimes but maybe it is because we aren’t serious drinkers. We gotta work on that. Luckily, we are serious about our hangover remedies and cover-ups, let us share them with you.

(First things first, start with a cup of coffee. These instant ones work just fine, keep one or seven in your kit)

(Pop a headache relief pill IMMEDIATE)

(Now, I am not sure what happened to your shirt but in case you don’t have a spare and are in a rush to get to work- get yourself a Tide-To-Go pen, they work on everything!)

(Bust out the baby oil to get rid of that tattle tale stamp on your wrist. You can never talk your way out of anything if you have a stamp from the night before anywhere on your body)

(Throw on some red lipstick and a pair of sunglasses- you are good to go! No one will ever think you had a beer the night before, you are ready for a hard day of work)

Our hangover kit has been proven to save lives. We don’t know how many but we are positive it has been a lot, so prepare one now, you want to be sure you are ready in case the big one strikes!

To Be Thankful.

With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, we were reminded of the countless things we are thankful for. Our family, friends, health- okay, enough of that crap let’s get to the real things we couldn’t live without.

(Yup, Beer Goggles! You know, when you have a glass or bottle of wine and decide that everything you see in the department store is something you just can’t live without. The next morning you wake up screaming “why did I buy another purple tutu?!” You wouldn’t have bought it sober and that would have been a damn shame, so thank you Beer Goggles, we are grateful for you)

(When Brittany and I were figuring out the details of this post, we originally meant Unexpected Cuties as in hot men we walk by from time to time. But you know what? I can live without a random cute boy siting, but how can I live without this face?! So cute! I could scream. I am. I am screaming right now. SO F@#*ING CUTE! AHHHH! I WANT TO EAT YOUR CUTE LITTLE FACE OFF!!!)

(There is nothing like a morning cup of coffee. Wait, there is nothing like a morning cup of coffee with a heart drawn in the foam. No, that isn’t right. There is nothing like a morning cup of coffee with a heart drawn in the foam handed to you by a super cute barista in a trendy coffee truck. We occasionally treat ourselves to a latte from Reveille Coffee on Pacific St in San Francisco. There is no joke here, their coffee really is made from unicorn tears or something, it is unreal how good it is. Sometimes our morning coffee ends in tears if one of us gets a heart in the foam and the other gets a leaf. A leaf. Who the F@#* wants a leaf?!)

(The Blow Dry Bar is the newest craze in hair beauty since the spiral perm. The best part is that they serve you champagne while you and your friends get your hair blown out. You always imagine leaving the bar looking like the model above. But after a few cocktails, you start looking like…

Hey, you can’t win ’em all!)

(Thank God I decided to put on tights before I walked out the door! I really dodged one major slutbaggy bullet there. I didn’t realize that my dress was the same length as my coat and if I didn’t have these tights on… Well, I would have been walking the streets of San Francisco looking like a flasher on my lunch  break)

We joke around a lot but we are honestly very thankful for our family, friends, health, and countless other things. While there are others who are less fortunate than us, we truly do know how lucky we are to live the lives that we do and wouldn’t trade places with anyone in the world. We hope you feel the exact same! Now, grab a trick fork and start grabbing the leftover stuffing from your brother’s plate when he isn’t looking- it’s THANKSGIVING afterall!

Our Alter Egos Raise Hell.

I think by now you have figured out that we are just a couple of normal girls who like to laugh and have fun. But when we rummaged through the post Halloween sale bins and scored some crazy lookin’ wigs things really changed for us. We enlisted the help of Shannon to bring to life our alter egos! We took on different personas for the day and I must say, we haven’t laughed this hard in a while! So take a look and let us know what you think of our transformation!

(From day to night- we slipped into character mode rather easily!)

(Shannon’s alter ego seduces the camera as she sunbathes with her bottle of wine)

(Don’t drink and clean, it’s a miracle I didn’t end up in the pool with those heels)

(Brittany looked amazing as an indie-rocker-poet-Daria-look-a-like)

(This is what friends are for, right?)

(You wouldn’t know it but after this photo was taken but we all ended up in tears after Brittany sang us an amazing song she had just penned. It was called “Imagine.” Wait a damn minute…)

While we loved playing dress up for the day and acting the fool, I think we decided that our normal girl looks suit us best. But you never know when our alter egos might come out next!

Why Do Guys Like Crazies?!

We started noticing an undeniable trend- men we knew had a long history of dating crazy people. Maybe we had a bit of that same past too and wanted to see if there was any reasoning behind it all. We decided to create our first Blideo* (Blog+Video) which is not to be confused with a Vlog (Video+Blog) because they’re totally different. Take a look because our evidence is just f@#%ing all over the place.

*Blideo naming rights, credit, and royalties belong to one Rabbit.

You May Say I’m A Dreamer.

Dreamboards are supposed to be these inspirational sheets you create to remind you of all the accomplishments that you want to have in your life. They sometimes remind you of who you want to be but always remind you of who you are not. Is that awful- looking at a board to remind yourself that you could be better? I understand that staring at a picture of a skinny girl in a bikini can motivate you to go to the gym but how long do you stare at it until you understand that this model you idealize is never going to be you? And honestly, that is a good thing. You should be happy with the skin that you are in because you are f@#*ing awesome.

I decided to make my own dream boards full of instances that will NEVER happen to me. But I can look at them and laugh at how ridiculous they seem and that makes me feel a whole lot better than wishing I was thinner, prettier, and perfect in every way.

Dreamboard #1: Out Of This World

Out of this world(I am riding a unicorn in outer space while Damon from the Vampire Diaries confesses his love for Elena on loop projected onto the galaxy. You’ve seen that episode, right? Oh, you haven’t? Don’t worry, it’s one click away- let’s watch it together right now. Oh, and the words “If you dream it..” are written in the sky because that seems fitting)

Dreamboard #2: Torn Between Love and Desire

(Ok, in this dreamboard, I am wearing a flowy citrine dress and am in Paris as it is pouring rain but I am totally dry. Weird, right? No, it’s my dreamboard so it is totally normal. Anyway, Robert Pattinson is floating in the sky. But not modern day Robert Pattinson, it is 2008 Robert Pattinson from the first Twilight movie when he was really hot. I am on my cell phone texting someone (probably Robert Pattinson) but then out of nowhere dangles these super cute blue shoes with little hearts on the toes. What do I do?! We’ll never know because I wake up from this dream before I get to the end. I hate that, don’t you?)

Dreamboard #3: Forbidden Fruit

(For my final dreamboard, I am part of a raccoon gang who perform dangerous cupcake heists. This is the crown jewel of all cupcakes though, it is golden and is said to give you the ability to create new fashion trends. But it is guarded by the recently gone viral “grumpy cat” and with one grumpy glare can cast you into fashion hell for all of eternity. Yes, a permanent fanny pack will grow out of your belly. The terror)

These dreamboards are silly, weird, and mean absolutely nothing. But always dream big and never settle for the norm because the great thing about being an individual is the ability to think differently and pursue your personal interests. And if you like dreamboards, make them! And if you like cupcakes, bake them! Just make sure you share them. With me.

Frovers- How to Know You’re Getting Serious.

“Frovers” is a term that was coined by Brittany the other day, it is a combination of the words Friends and Lovers. It’s not literally friends and lovers, it is more friends who could be mistaken for lovers. Frovers, we all have one. We’ve found that lately people have been giving us reason to believe that we might be a little too close to one another. See these examples and let us know if you might have a Frover of your own.

(You have a key to her apartment. And you stay there when your Frover is at her boyfriend’s house. And her roommates mistake you for her)

(Your mom says to you, “you girls just look so happy together.” I mean, it’s totally true, we really are)

Frovers(You get called your Frover’s name at Starbucks. But you have different colored hair, look nothing alike, and your Frover is still at the office)

(You are spending the night at your Frover’s place and forgot undies- you have to borrow some. We’ve never done this though, no, no)

Frovers, if you rearrange the letters, you get “Forevrs”- which is really close to “Forevers” but not exactly. Coincidence?! I think not. So, yeah, maybe having a Frover is a little strange but it can’t be wrong when it feels so right.