Tag Archives: kim kardashian

A Dream Proposal.

Kim and KanyeI’m sure you’ve all heard Kanye West proposed to Kim Kardashian in a very sweet and quiet way, he rented out AT&T Park (yes, home of the San Francisco Giants), hired the Chicago Symphony Orchestra to play her favorite song “Young and Beautiful” by Lana del Rey, and finally lit up the words “Pleeease Marry Meee!!!” across the scoreboard.  Every girl dreams of how her prince will utter that magical question and much like Kim, I would be happy with something simple! Here’s what every guy should take away from the “Kimye” proposal.

1. Make it small, keep it private.

kanye-west-paparazzi

(Do you think Kanye wanted the whole world knowing how he proposed to Kim? Of course not! He couldn’t help it if the crew on-site blasted it all over social media. Lesson learned, make sure all of the hired help has been stripped of cell phone and camera privileges)

2. The ring size should be indicative of  your love for me.

Kim-Kanye-ring

(While not GIGANTIC – come on, she can still lift her finger, Kanye presented Kim with a 15-carat diamond ring. He chose to keep it classy but made it large enough to really show her he’s in it for the long haul. That’s definitely the sure sign)

3. End it subtly.

will you marry me

(After Kim said yes, Kanye filled the sky with fireworks. Nothing says “I’m hot for you” like fire!)

Brit-Kanye

I mean you can really see Kimye’s true characteristics here: modesty, humility, and humbling demeanor.

I Will Remember You. An Obituary.

It was the best of times, now it’s the worst of times. When I was a kid my summers meant endless bicycle riding in the cul-de-sac with a bright pink Hostess Sno Ball in my hand. Just recently Hostess announced the end of an era and my childhood with the death of my beloved Sno Ball.

Sno-BallWhat can I say? You were there for me, providing me with nothing but love, sugar, and an amazing amount of nutrition. You never raised your voice or doubted me. And now you are gone. I will never feel your squishy exterior in my boney fingers or taste your marshmallow insides again. I am not sure if the world will be the same without you. How could it?

Hostess Sno Ball(The children weren’t your only admirers, the art community has been affected by your loss too)

French Bulldog with a Hostess Sno Ball(Oh, the fun we had. I will always remember the good times. I will quickly forget the times when I couldn’t fit into that tight tank top because of you. But I will never forget the puppies, what will become of the puppies?!)

Crying baby

(No one will be able to compare to you. There was only one you.)

Kim Kardashian(Sit down, Kim! SIT DOWN! You are such a show stealer! This is Sno Ball’s moment, okay?! We are all trying to get through this TOGETHER!)

RIP Sno Ball(May your light shine on forever)

You are gone but not forgotten. I will avenge your death and ensure that those who took you from us will experience harsh justice. I will force feed them Home Run Pies and not the real kind, the cheap rip off brands you get at the grocery store.